Thursday, May 20, 2010

Reform on Reform

If the Democrats want to persuade the public on reform projects, they need to get a word other than REFORM. Reform sounds like a political word. We're all tired of the same old politics. Everyday people want this country to improve. They don't care about rock star politicians or media personalities. They care about their families, their futures, and keeping their lights on.

These same people who want improvements, that are set forth in political packages with the word "reform" on them, feel tricked by the political game. I don't know when exactly the word "reform" took a bad name, but with Health Insurance premiums on the rise, the banks sucker punching America for all she's worth, oil spewing everywhere with no end in sight, and a heated immigration ruling in Arizona - people still don't want reform... but they want things to get better.

The Democrats are absolutely miserable at naming things. They rank right above the no-talent celebrities that name their kids Audio Science, Coco, and Apple.

Speaking of Apple, last week Bill Maher suggested that Steve Jobs should take over the country in order to get things done. Echoing that sentiment, why don't the Democrats come out with something titled "Securing America's Southern Border 3G" or "Main Street Before Wall Street 2.0?" People don't even read whatever updates pop up on their computers - they just install them. But if your iTunes screen asked 'do you want to install the latest reform for free downloads and a lollipop', users would rip their computers from the desk and slam them against the wall.

The Republicans are a party of no ideas at all, ever. They still get things done because they know how to use language to cast doubt. Democrats do that to themselves and their own ideas. If Republicans wanted to wage war on Apple they'd pull up a picture of the logo and say Steve Jobs is the devil. See this apple, this is the apple from the Garden of Eden. The same apple that has cast sin on mankind for eternity. That's the bite mark right there. Mr. Jobs is tempting you to eat more of the apple when you buy his product and wants to end Christianity as we know it and turn this country into a 3G network of anarchy and devil worship. And then two weeks later you'd find the same Republican having gay cyber sex with an alter boy using the iPad.

But I digress.

The Democrats just need to drop the word reform, call in the Frank Luntz equivalent for their side, and roll out some new titles. And if that doesn't work... then yeah, call Steve Jobs.