Another One!!!

In case you haven't heard, this is Lauren Ashley, another one of the beauty queens of California that has shot her mouth off with righteous Biblical passages.

She actually has outdone Carrie Prejean's homophobic tirade in the media with her own quote.

It went something like -- the Bible is black and white about homosexuality, Leviticus said this, and gays will be killed by God.

She goes on to say that she has gay friends and that we're all kind of cool with all of it.

So does she worry that her gay friends are going to be slain by the wrath of God?

Now, I will be the first to tell you that I wasn't a Sunday School Scholar like what's her face from the picture. (I went just to get away from my parents and I'm sure the feeling was mutual.) But isn't there something in the Bible about killing your first born son and those who have premarital relations shall be stoned. Something along those lines.

Why do the Bible Thumping Pageant Queens only know the passages that don't really apply to them?

Take Ms. Prejean for example. She seems like a smart young lady. (cough, cough, vomit) Somewhere in the good book it says something about not desecrating one's body, and well, when they wrote the thing, they didn't envision how silicone would be used in the twenty-first century, but Carrie, that applies to you. And now that it's reported you're living with your hottie-hot, can't play football, quarterback of a boyfriend and he hasn't yet put a ring on it, um, what is God's punishment for you. Or better yet, what does the Bible say about sex tapes where you double click your mouse the entire time? (that was actually a quote from Showgirls. High Five!)

So to all the other thumpers out there that want to act above everyone else, try not to be the textbook definition of hypocrisy at the exact same time. Wait a little bit. Until you're super-duper famous, Jesus hasn't returned, the rapture hasn't happened, and then give it all up to get new silicone funbags, an awesome tramp stamp in unknown Chinese lettering, and then twiddle your diddle for all your fans on your new iphone with video.

But what's going to happen if Elton John is right and Jesus is gay?
How will he go back in time and kill himself for being gay?
Or will he change what he said and rewrite it and cut the parts Leviticus wrote?

I have no idea, but I'd guess it would happen sometime around Easter.