Obama's Post HC Celebration

This is Obama right after Health Care passed performing his own ideas that might not have been included in the bill.

You know the President has some testicular fortitude when he can leave the curtains open and whip out Lil' Barack and just stare at him.

He's probably running that quote from Biden over and over in his head.

"Big F*cking Deal. Big F*cking Deal."

Followed by a fist bump with his other hand, he looks down and says... "Tiger's got nothing on you."

"Michelle... get in here!"



I don't know... what do you think happened?

Walmart: Everyday Low Standards - Part 2

So... in other Walmart news that didn't quite make the press recently because it just won't make enough money for large media outlets... there's this story.

Walmart fired a pledged and dutiful employee of five years stricken with sinus CANCER and an inoperable BRAIN TUMOR for testing positive for (legalized in that state) medical marijuana. Prescribed by his doctor to relieve the effects of cancer, he continued to give "one hundred and ten percent every day" for "12 to 14 hours a day."

Oh, and by the way, he was also a 2008 Walmart Associate of the Year.

Now that Walmart has FIRED him, they are challenging his eligibility for unemployment.

This is the same corporation that took out "Dead Peasant" insurance policies on their employees. This is a policy their employee knows nothing about. They take policies out on employees that are janitors, drivers, and other positions that have stressful working conditions and yield a higher percentage for illness and death. The equation looks like this.

More dead Walmart employees = $$$$$$$$$$$

The families of the deceased... they get... well, nothing.

Walmart only looks out for Walmart.

Do you think Walmart would have fired an employee using LEGALIZED medical marijuana if say, I don't know, you could get it at Walmart?

If Walmart can't sell it - they're against it. That's why there's no love from them. They can't sell it. Maybe in a couple years, if you absolutely had to go in there, you'd be greeted with a "Hello, Welcome to Walmart. I Love You." (i.e. Costco from Idiocracy)

But I digress. This is a company seeking public sympathy trying to capitalize on the "Attention, Walmart Customers: All Black People, Leave the Store Now" incident.

I'm not saying that incident represents their public motto, but in a reverse case if someone slipped an illegal substance in your drink and you failed a drug test, they'd fire you and make sure you received every enforceable penalty and claim you should have known what you were drinking.

Walmart should have had a better system on who has access to their PA system. They should have known better. And if they want some sort of sympathy, should lead by example or when their example of operation (if it happens to you it's you're fault) is turned back on them, should just roll back the prices and have another sale.

On A Good Day

Sometimes, when I'm having a good day and everything is going my way, I'll turn on Glenn Beck just to throw a wrench in there and bring me back down to reality (or insanity, either way).

A lot of my friends ask me why the hell I'd do such a thing, but sometimes I just need to find out why all the crazies are going crazier.

Here's a video of Jon Stewart doing Beck better than Beck. It's like crazy on ecstasy.

If you're a fan of Beck let me start off by saying you are the lowest member of the intellectual food chain. If you need someone (a recovering alcoholic) to concoct wild conspiracy theories and put them in the most simplistic terms, label everything communist, socialist, progressive, and whatever else, and scream and cry on a cable news show, to tell you how you should be thinking or perceiving the world, then you've kinda fallen off the wagon. And if someone asked you why you thought those things, you couldn't really explain why, other than the fact that he said it on his show so it must be truer than true.

I mean he wrote it on a chalkboard. Teachers do that. He must be smart. Like a teacher. Wait, did Russia have teachers? Maybe. But they didn't have chalk.

He's telling America to leave their Church if their website has the words 'Social Justice' on it. I'm pretty sure JC was all about social justice like Helping the Poor or Teaching a Man To Fish (yuck, that's like charity and free education - sounds super communist). I don't think JC thought about what was in it for him - like TV ratings, bigger revenue share, or name recognition.

Isn't he basically saying JC was wrong (probably a socialist progressive Maoist) and to leave that Church and if you can't find another one to go to, I Glenn Beck, will start my own religion.

Or is this just one big conspiracy theory?

Come back next week when I'll be discussing how monkeys that pick fleas off of other monkeys are really a bunch of Hitler-loving, communists that are picking away at our constitution and trying to DESTROY AMERICA!!!

Walmart: Everyday Low Standards

"Attention, Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now."

Those were the exact words heard over the PA system in a New Jersey Walmart.

Walmart's always been the store that had everything - including racism.

Now you can get a cheap sweater on aisle six, a bucket to poop in on aisle nine, and racial remarks over the loud speaker.

They can say this was an accident, but do you think there would ever come a time when they said: "Attention, Walmart customers: All current stock holders, get the fuck out!"

In 2006, Walmart's website recommended that the audience which liked DVD's like Introducing Dorothy Dandridge and documentaries on Martin Luther King Jr. would also like Planet of the Apes.

BUT...

Their website has a section on diversity. It reads:

"Diversity and Inclusion are enduring values embedded into our culture. From our board of directors to our associates and customers, these values are fundamental to both our business and mission of saving people money so they can live better."

We have to believe them right... I mean it says it right there on their web page.

Where can I sign up. I can work full time for $10.84 an hour --- $19,165 a year. That number doesn't include health care and also is $2000 below the Federal Poverty Line for a family of four.

Their slogan: "Save money, live better."

Deceptive.

THEY SAVE MONEY, THEY LIVE BETTER. Everyone else gets bent over.

Walmart CEO Lee Scott made $29.7 million last year. (1551 times the average worker at Walmart)

They save money - not paying their employees a living wage, covering only half their workers on health care, costing taxpayers $400,000 per community per year for public assistance programs, avoided paying $2.3 BILLION in state income taxes between 1999-2005, and their presence drives down wages and increases poverty in communities.

And we all know where people living in poverty shop right.... WALMART.

No More Speidi!!!

The train wreck of human flesh and plastic that is Heidi Montag, has ditched husband, Spencer Pratt, as her manager.

Apparently, Spencer could only take her no-talent career so far and thus she has hired a new manager. You'd think she'd upgrade from Spencer, under the commonly held belief that he was as low as one could go.

Here's the kicker. She ditched him for... wait for it... a psychic.

This is how I imagine the conversation went.

Heidi: Spency, when's my career gonna take off?

Spencer: Uh, soon. Really soon.

Heidi: But I wanna know now. You're fired!!!

Spencer: That's cool. I'm King Spencer, I don't care.

Heidi punches in a number on her cell phone and waits.

Psychic: Heidi, I knew you'd be calling.

Heidi: Right, anyway, I wanna make you my manager, so you can tell me when my career will take off.

Psychic: Sounds like a sweet gig, but I can tell you right now. I'm getting a vision. Ah, yes, it will never take off. You have no talent.

Heidi: Maybe another music video?

Psychic: No. Please don't.

Heidi: More plastic surgery?

Psychic: Heidi, the biggest givers in life, have the biggest careers. Donate all of your money to my foundation for "The future psychics of America who don't yet know they'll be psychics when they grow up" and you'll be a star.

She hangs up.

Heidi: Spencer! I'm gonna run to the bank real quick. Okay?

Spencer: Whatever, skank.

Annnnnddddddd..... SCENE.

In all fairness to her, she is taking the initiative.