The final quote by the lady in red says everything.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Lady and the Gramps | ||||
| ||||
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
She's Killing Him Again
A funny wrap up of McCain and Palin's week together.
The final quote by the lady in red says everything.
The final quote by the lady in red says everything.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Why the Democrats Will Win in 2010
I'm not Nate Silver at 538, nor do I have a crystal ball, but when November rolls around the Democrats will maintain the majority and get back to 60 seats in the Senate.
I realize I'm alone on this thought - most of my friends have told me.
The biggest part of a political party is the leader. The Democrats clearly have one. Big O. And we know who number two, three, and four are. Who is the face of the Republican/GOP/Tea Party?
It's not...
Michael Steele. The token black guy they pulled in to counter Obama being President - isn't working out so well. He's mired in the Bondage Club Expense scandal, he's previously been accused of overspending, he wasn't too popular to begin with, and now they want him to resign.
Sarah Palin. She quit her government job. And now Miss 'anti-Hollywood, Obama's a big fat celebrity, I'm real America' is gonna... go do a television show in Alaska when she's not contributing on Fox News.
John McCain. He was their choice for President and two years later, might not even be called back to the Senate. And he's teaming with Palin... so...
Michele Bachman. She is a Tea Partier all American kind of gal who won't fill out her Census and can't spell Amarica correctly on her website.
Liz Cheney. The daughter of the most unpopular VP ever who hears what Michele Bachman says and then makes it even crazier.
Bobby Jindal. The GOP's new face who was also a minority. Two birds. One.... Wait, I remember him making a little speech after the State of the Union and... where... Did they just send him to the back of the line?
Mitt Romney. The guy who was for Obama type health care before he was against it?
Another Bush? John Boehner? Who's left?
Whoever the Tea Party is for, the GOP will oppose and vice versa. McCain supporters don't like Palin and Palin supporters don't like McCain. Don't believe me... go to her facebook page.
I know they'll come up with someone, but with everyone chomping at the bit, the party splitting into two parties, there will be infighting and chaos. That's what happens. The Democrats will bring this up around September/October and the Republicans will defeat themselves.
On top of that, the Dems will campaign hard for their candidates. They know how two years of obstructionism will look. That whole Supreme Court decision on campaign funding - the Dems will use it. They brokered a deal with Big Pharma to pass health care... do you think there was some sort of handshake thing in a back room about supporting Democratic campaigns in the fall?
I'm not saying this is the sole reason. But if the Democrats can keep things moving, get things done, and Health Care Reform and Student Aid Reform are successful - so too will be the Democrats.
It Puts The Crazy On Its Skin
It doesn't get much better than when you admit you do all of your learning from The Church of Crazy with Pastor Glenn Beck.
Friday, March 26, 2010
This Should Work Out Well
After a loss as a team in 2008, some chide remarks and finger pointing at each other over the last year, and both heading their own political ways, Sarah Palin is stumping for John Mccain in Arizona.
He was almost President of the United States two years ago and now could lose his long-standing seat as Senator.
He's admitted to not wanted her as his VP and her facebook page is scorched with hate for McCain and followers threatening to leave her.
She's leading the Tea Party and he's trying remain GOP, but mavericky-er.
She quit being Governor of Alaska and he won't work after 2pm.
They are running under the new 'Party of Hell No.'
So, the party of anti-welfare and you get what you earn is going to support a quitter and salaried stamp "no" on everything, anti-immigration, friend of the 'Siesta?'
Good luck.
Most likely, John McCain's seat will go to a Democrat.
No one thought it would happen with Ted Kennedy's seat, but it switched parties.
I think voters will go with people who are going to do something for them over those who are going to stall and obstruct.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A Slippery Slope
I love watching crazy people say crazy things just as much as the next person, but the actions stemming from the passage of the Health Care Bill are just acts of lunacy.
A pastor in Orange County is calling for "death prayers" for the Democrats that supported the bill.
There's this PSALM 109:8 movement dropping Biblical code to put Obama's head on a stick.
I love loopholes. They're American. There's nothing better than writing off 18 holes and lunch as a business expense. But, wasn't there something written in stone about 'Thou Shall Not Kill.'
Has this country become so crazy for loopholes, that while on trial, people will swear upon the good book and then say,
"Uh, your Honor, it says nothing about... you can't pray for people to die. So I asked my Lord and Savior to do it... and when he didn't, I just went ahead and did it myself... I'd like to plead the Second Amendment... and since you all didn't let me bring my gun in here... that's why I wore a sleeveless shirt."
These people act so dedicated to their religious beliefs and abandon them as soon as FOX News tells them to do so.
Glenn Beck is gonna come on and say that he has a different Bible, one that the liberals haven't tainted, and it says God shall covet those who bear arms against bureaucrats and democrats and they shall inherit a million gold bars and unlimited beer in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Health Care passed. The stock market didn't crash. The sky didn't fall.
Nothing has changed in this country. You know how I know --- Rush Limbaugh is still here.
It's Health Care.
It's not HEALTH ---steal your guns and take 'In God We Trust' off the money--- CARE.
Can you imagine if it was?
Sarah Palin would call this country RETARDED, the Northeast would flood from Glenn Beck's tears, and Rush Limbaugh would move to Mexico to become their new drug lord.
It's Health Care. Calm down. Keep your shit in your pants.
This is America. We don't negotiate with terrorists. That includes both foreign and domestic.
It's not blue state/red state anymore. This isn't a little friendly jabbing. This is a slippery slope to domestic terrorism.
A pastor in Orange County is calling for "death prayers" for the Democrats that supported the bill.
There's this PSALM 109:8 movement dropping Biblical code to put Obama's head on a stick.
I love loopholes. They're American. There's nothing better than writing off 18 holes and lunch as a business expense. But, wasn't there something written in stone about 'Thou Shall Not Kill.'
Has this country become so crazy for loopholes, that while on trial, people will swear upon the good book and then say,
"Uh, your Honor, it says nothing about... you can't pray for people to die. So I asked my Lord and Savior to do it... and when he didn't, I just went ahead and did it myself... I'd like to plead the Second Amendment... and since you all didn't let me bring my gun in here... that's why I wore a sleeveless shirt."
These people act so dedicated to their religious beliefs and abandon them as soon as FOX News tells them to do so.
Glenn Beck is gonna come on and say that he has a different Bible, one that the liberals haven't tainted, and it says God shall covet those who bear arms against bureaucrats and democrats and they shall inherit a million gold bars and unlimited beer in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Health Care passed. The stock market didn't crash. The sky didn't fall.
Nothing has changed in this country. You know how I know --- Rush Limbaugh is still here.
It's Health Care.
It's not HEALTH ---steal your guns and take 'In God We Trust' off the money--- CARE.
Can you imagine if it was?
Sarah Palin would call this country RETARDED, the Northeast would flood from Glenn Beck's tears, and Rush Limbaugh would move to Mexico to become their new drug lord.
It's Health Care. Calm down. Keep your shit in your pants.
This is America. We don't negotiate with terrorists. That includes both foreign and domestic.
It's not blue state/red state anymore. This isn't a little friendly jabbing. This is a slippery slope to domestic terrorism.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Obama's Post HC Celebration
This is Obama right after Health Care passed performing his own ideas that might not have been included in the bill.
You know the President has some testicular fortitude when he can leave the curtains open and whip out Lil' Barack and just stare at him.
He's probably running that quote from Biden over and over in his head.
"Big F*cking Deal. Big F*cking Deal."
Followed by a fist bump with his other hand, he looks down and says... "Tiger's got nothing on you."
"Michelle... get in here!"
I don't know... what do you think happened?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Walmart: Everyday Low Standards - Part 2
So... in other Walmart news that didn't quite make the press recently because it just won't make enough money for large media outlets... there's this story.
Walmart fired a pledged and dutiful employee of five years stricken with sinus CANCER and an inoperable BRAIN TUMOR for testing positive for (legalized in that state) medical marijuana. Prescribed by his doctor to relieve the effects of cancer, he continued to give "one hundred and ten percent every day" for "12 to 14 hours a day."
Oh, and by the way, he was also a 2008 Walmart Associate of the Year.
Now that Walmart has FIRED him, they are challenging his eligibility for unemployment.
This is the same corporation that took out "Dead Peasant" insurance policies on their employees. This is a policy their employee knows nothing about. They take policies out on employees that are janitors, drivers, and other positions that have stressful working conditions and yield a higher percentage for illness and death. The equation looks like this.
More dead Walmart employees = $$$$$$$$$$$
The families of the deceased... they get... well, nothing.
Walmart only looks out for Walmart.
Do you think Walmart would have fired an employee using LEGALIZED medical marijuana if say, I don't know, you could get it at Walmart?
If Walmart can't sell it - they're against it. That's why there's no love from them. They can't sell it. Maybe in a couple years, if you absolutely had to go in there, you'd be greeted with a "Hello, Welcome to Walmart. I Love You." (i.e. Costco from Idiocracy)
But I digress. This is a company seeking public sympathy trying to capitalize on the "Attention, Walmart Customers: All Black People, Leave the Store Now" incident.
I'm not saying that incident represents their public motto, but in a reverse case if someone slipped an illegal substance in your drink and you failed a drug test, they'd fire you and make sure you received every enforceable penalty and claim you should have known what you were drinking.
Walmart should have had a better system on who has access to their PA system. They should have known better. And if they want some sort of sympathy, should lead by example or when their example of operation (if it happens to you it's you're fault) is turned back on them, should just roll back the prices and have another sale.
Walmart fired a pledged and dutiful employee of five years stricken with sinus CANCER and an inoperable BRAIN TUMOR for testing positive for (legalized in that state) medical marijuana. Prescribed by his doctor to relieve the effects of cancer, he continued to give "one hundred and ten percent every day" for "12 to 14 hours a day."
Oh, and by the way, he was also a 2008 Walmart Associate of the Year.
Now that Walmart has FIRED him, they are challenging his eligibility for unemployment.
This is the same corporation that took out "Dead Peasant" insurance policies on their employees. This is a policy their employee knows nothing about. They take policies out on employees that are janitors, drivers, and other positions that have stressful working conditions and yield a higher percentage for illness and death. The equation looks like this.
More dead Walmart employees = $$$$$$$$$$$
The families of the deceased... they get... well, nothing.
Walmart only looks out for Walmart.
Do you think Walmart would have fired an employee using LEGALIZED medical marijuana if say, I don't know, you could get it at Walmart?
If Walmart can't sell it - they're against it. That's why there's no love from them. They can't sell it. Maybe in a couple years, if you absolutely had to go in there, you'd be greeted with a "Hello, Welcome to Walmart. I Love You." (i.e. Costco from Idiocracy)
But I digress. This is a company seeking public sympathy trying to capitalize on the "Attention, Walmart Customers: All Black People, Leave the Store Now" incident.
I'm not saying that incident represents their public motto, but in a reverse case if someone slipped an illegal substance in your drink and you failed a drug test, they'd fire you and make sure you received every enforceable penalty and claim you should have known what you were drinking.
Walmart should have had a better system on who has access to their PA system. They should have known better. And if they want some sort of sympathy, should lead by example or when their example of operation (if it happens to you it's you're fault) is turned back on them, should just roll back the prices and have another sale.
Friday, March 19, 2010
On A Good Day
Sometimes, when I'm having a good day and everything is going my way, I'll turn on Glenn Beck just to throw a wrench in there and bring me back down to reality (or insanity, either way).
A lot of my friends ask me why the hell I'd do such a thing, but sometimes I just need to find out why all the crazies are going crazier.
Here's a video of Jon Stewart doing Beck better than Beck. It's like crazy on ecstasy.
If you're a fan of Beck let me start off by saying you are the lowest member of the intellectual food chain. If you need someone (a recovering alcoholic) to concoct wild conspiracy theories and put them in the most simplistic terms, label everything communist, socialist, progressive, and whatever else, and scream and cry on a cable news show, to tell you how you should be thinking or perceiving the world, then you've kinda fallen off the wagon. And if someone asked you why you thought those things, you couldn't really explain why, other than the fact that he said it on his show so it must be truer than true.
I mean he wrote it on a chalkboard. Teachers do that. He must be smart. Like a teacher. Wait, did Russia have teachers? Maybe. But they didn't have chalk.
He's telling America to leave their Church if their website has the words 'Social Justice' on it. I'm pretty sure JC was all about social justice like Helping the Poor or Teaching a Man To Fish (yuck, that's like charity and free education - sounds super communist). I don't think JC thought about what was in it for him - like TV ratings, bigger revenue share, or name recognition.
Isn't he basically saying JC was wrong (probably a socialist progressive Maoist) and to leave that Church and if you can't find another one to go to, I Glenn Beck, will start my own religion.
Or is this just one big conspiracy theory?
Come back next week when I'll be discussing how monkeys that pick fleas off of other monkeys are really a bunch of Hitler-loving, communists that are picking away at our constitution and trying to DESTROY AMERICA!!!
A lot of my friends ask me why the hell I'd do such a thing, but sometimes I just need to find out why all the crazies are going crazier.
Here's a video of Jon Stewart doing Beck better than Beck. It's like crazy on ecstasy.
If you're a fan of Beck let me start off by saying you are the lowest member of the intellectual food chain. If you need someone (a recovering alcoholic) to concoct wild conspiracy theories and put them in the most simplistic terms, label everything communist, socialist, progressive, and whatever else, and scream and cry on a cable news show, to tell you how you should be thinking or perceiving the world, then you've kinda fallen off the wagon. And if someone asked you why you thought those things, you couldn't really explain why, other than the fact that he said it on his show so it must be truer than true.
I mean he wrote it on a chalkboard. Teachers do that. He must be smart. Like a teacher. Wait, did Russia have teachers? Maybe. But they didn't have chalk.
He's telling America to leave their Church if their website has the words 'Social Justice' on it. I'm pretty sure JC was all about social justice like Helping the Poor or Teaching a Man To Fish (yuck, that's like charity and free education - sounds super communist). I don't think JC thought about what was in it for him - like TV ratings, bigger revenue share, or name recognition.
Isn't he basically saying JC was wrong (probably a socialist progressive Maoist) and to leave that Church and if you can't find another one to go to, I Glenn Beck, will start my own religion.
Or is this just one big conspiracy theory?
Come back next week when I'll be discussing how monkeys that pick fleas off of other monkeys are really a bunch of Hitler-loving, communists that are picking away at our constitution and trying to DESTROY AMERICA!!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Walmart: Everyday Low Standards
"Attention, Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now."
Those were the exact words heard over the PA system in a New Jersey Walmart.
Walmart's always been the store that had everything - including racism.
Now you can get a cheap sweater on aisle six, a bucket to poop in on aisle nine, and racial remarks over the loud speaker.
They can say this was an accident, but do you think there would ever come a time when they said: "Attention, Walmart customers: All current stock holders, get the fuck out!"
In 2006, Walmart's website recommended that the audience which liked DVD's like Introducing Dorothy Dandridge and documentaries on Martin Luther King Jr. would also like Planet of the Apes.
BUT...
Their website has a section on diversity. It reads:
We have to believe them right... I mean it says it right there on their web page.
Where can I sign up. I can work full time for $10.84 an hour --- $19,165 a year. That number doesn't include health care and also is $2000 below the Federal Poverty Line for a family of four.
Their slogan: "Save money, live better."
Deceptive.
THEY SAVE MONEY, THEY LIVE BETTER. Everyone else gets bent over.
Walmart CEO Lee Scott made $29.7 million last year. (1551 times the average worker at Walmart)
They save money - not paying their employees a living wage, covering only half their workers on health care, costing taxpayers $400,000 per community per year for public assistance programs, avoided paying $2.3 BILLION in state income taxes between 1999-2005, and their presence drives down wages and increases poverty in communities.
And we all know where people living in poverty shop right.... WALMART.
Those were the exact words heard over the PA system in a New Jersey Walmart.
Walmart's always been the store that had everything - including racism.
Now you can get a cheap sweater on aisle six, a bucket to poop in on aisle nine, and racial remarks over the loud speaker.
They can say this was an accident, but do you think there would ever come a time when they said: "Attention, Walmart customers: All current stock holders, get the fuck out!"
In 2006, Walmart's website recommended that the audience which liked DVD's like Introducing Dorothy Dandridge and documentaries on Martin Luther King Jr. would also like Planet of the Apes.
BUT...
Their website has a section on diversity. It reads:
"Diversity and Inclusion are enduring values embedded into our culture. From our board of directors to our associates and customers, these values are fundamental to both our business and mission of saving people money so they can live better."
We have to believe them right... I mean it says it right there on their web page.
Where can I sign up. I can work full time for $10.84 an hour --- $19,165 a year. That number doesn't include health care and also is $2000 below the Federal Poverty Line for a family of four.
Their slogan: "Save money, live better."
Deceptive.
THEY SAVE MONEY, THEY LIVE BETTER. Everyone else gets bent over.
Walmart CEO Lee Scott made $29.7 million last year. (1551 times the average worker at Walmart)
They save money - not paying their employees a living wage, covering only half their workers on health care, costing taxpayers $400,000 per community per year for public assistance programs, avoided paying $2.3 BILLION in state income taxes between 1999-2005, and their presence drives down wages and increases poverty in communities.
And we all know where people living in poverty shop right.... WALMART.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
No More Speidi!!!
The train wreck of human flesh and plastic that is Heidi Montag, has ditched husband, Spencer Pratt, as her manager.
Apparently, Spencer could only take her no-talent career so far and thus she has hired a new manager. You'd think she'd upgrade from Spencer, under the commonly held belief that he was as low as one could go.
Here's the kicker. She ditched him for... wait for it... a psychic.
This is how I imagine the conversation went.
Heidi: Spency, when's my career gonna take off?
Spencer: Uh, soon. Really soon.
Heidi: But I wanna know now. You're fired!!!
Spencer: That's cool. I'm King Spencer, I don't care.
Heidi punches in a number on her cell phone and waits.
Psychic: Heidi, I knew you'd be calling.
Heidi: Right, anyway, I wanna make you my manager, so you can tell me when my career will take off.
Psychic: Sounds like a sweet gig, but I can tell you right now. I'm getting a vision. Ah, yes, it will never take off. You have no talent.
Heidi: Maybe another music video?
Psychic: No. Please don't.
Heidi: More plastic surgery?
Psychic: Heidi, the biggest givers in life, have the biggest careers. Donate all of your money to my foundation for "The future psychics of America who don't yet know they'll be psychics when they grow up" and you'll be a star.
She hangs up.
Heidi: Spencer! I'm gonna run to the bank real quick. Okay?
Spencer: Whatever, skank.
Annnnnddddddd..... SCENE.
In all fairness to her, she is taking the initiative.
Apparently, Spencer could only take her no-talent career so far and thus she has hired a new manager. You'd think she'd upgrade from Spencer, under the commonly held belief that he was as low as one could go.
Here's the kicker. She ditched him for... wait for it... a psychic.
This is how I imagine the conversation went.
Heidi: Spency, when's my career gonna take off?
Spencer: Uh, soon. Really soon.
Heidi: But I wanna know now. You're fired!!!
Spencer: That's cool. I'm King Spencer, I don't care.
Heidi punches in a number on her cell phone and waits.
Psychic: Heidi, I knew you'd be calling.
Heidi: Right, anyway, I wanna make you my manager, so you can tell me when my career will take off.
Psychic: Sounds like a sweet gig, but I can tell you right now. I'm getting a vision. Ah, yes, it will never take off. You have no talent.
Heidi: Maybe another music video?
Psychic: No. Please don't.
Heidi: More plastic surgery?
Psychic: Heidi, the biggest givers in life, have the biggest careers. Donate all of your money to my foundation for "The future psychics of America who don't yet know they'll be psychics when they grow up" and you'll be a star.
She hangs up.
Heidi: Spencer! I'm gonna run to the bank real quick. Okay?
Spencer: Whatever, skank.
Annnnnddddddd..... SCENE.
In all fairness to her, she is taking the initiative.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Is He Still Relevant?
Hulk Hogan is on video saying he wants to knock some sense out of Brad Pitt for leaving Jennifer Aniston. He goes on to say Brad is great, he's doing great things, yada yada yada, but he did what he did, and should get some sense knocked into him.
Hey Hulk, Brad and Jen split about five years ago. We've all moved on.
You're not in the ring calling out Ric Flair to duke it out over who has suffered the most peroxide damage.
Brad isn't going to drop everything, put on some spandex diaper, and jump into the ring. And if he did, you'd be toast. He's a method actor. Watch Fight Club. And then when you're done, become a method father, and take your son back to Driver's Ed.
Hey Hulk, Brad and Jen split about five years ago. We've all moved on.
You're not in the ring calling out Ric Flair to duke it out over who has suffered the most peroxide damage.
Brad isn't going to drop everything, put on some spandex diaper, and jump into the ring. And if he did, you'd be toast. He's a method actor. Watch Fight Club. And then when you're done, become a method father, and take your son back to Driver's Ed.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Red Carpet Letdown
I'll start by saying that the one major improvement was the Martin and Baldwin combo as hosts. Yeah, it wasn't Chris Rock or Jon Stewart, but it was entertaining. With that being said...
Why did they mess around with everything else?
They cut the live performances of Best Song Nominees and after they had already announced the winner, then combined them all into one deal. Half the songs you haven't heard before. Let's hear them before someone is declared a winner. If you want people to watch, make it fun for them.
I know the little people don't matter at the Oscars. That it's all about the actual actors, but this new format of cutting things short so former winners can come out and yap about how great the nominees are is... boring, fake, and awkward.
They let Colin Farrell come out and talk about Jeremy Renner for like five minutes. It was gross and hard to watch. He tried to wrap things up by saying "yeah... and... good luck... man..." or something like that, while his face said "you have no chance to win, enjoy the after party."
Just show the clips.
And Tom Hanks, Mr. Two Time Winner, slow down. He ran out on stage, read the nominees for "Best Picture", no pause, no clips, apparently no time left in the show, and said "the winner is" and it's over. They spend forever and a day on the actors and when it comes to "Best Picture", the award they wait until the end of the show to give out - they rush it. Tom, everyone in the audience has extra Xanax in their pocket. Take one.
The biggest disappointment of the night was the "In Memoriam" montage.
They left two people out (that we know of so far). They left out Farrah Fawcett and Bea Arthur. A former Charlie's Angel and a Golden Girl. That is embarrassing. They let Cameron Diaz hand out an award (and have a speaking line), but a movie she was in, based off a TV show made famous by Farrah Fawcett... Isn't there someone on staff still playing hybrid forms of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon?
And now there's a huge push to get Betty White, another Golden Girl, to host SNL. Wouldn't someone find the link. Don't they have people hired to do this? Isn't there a list somewhere of those in the Hollywood Family who've past on? Or would it have run too long for James Taylor's song performance?
Maybe they should have spent more time double checking that, instead of creating the "Horror Movie Tribute."
It will never be a perfect system, but they reformatted the show for a ratings boost. The complaint is that it's too long.
No one ever complains the Super Bowl is too long. Make the show more interesting. Don't cut the good parts... the real parts... to substitute in lame crap that some intern thought was a rad idea.
And next year, if you want buzz leading up to the show to gain viewers, stick to your gut and hire the host you really wanted.
Why did they mess around with everything else?
They cut the live performances of Best Song Nominees and after they had already announced the winner, then combined them all into one deal. Half the songs you haven't heard before. Let's hear them before someone is declared a winner. If you want people to watch, make it fun for them.
I know the little people don't matter at the Oscars. That it's all about the actual actors, but this new format of cutting things short so former winners can come out and yap about how great the nominees are is... boring, fake, and awkward.
They let Colin Farrell come out and talk about Jeremy Renner for like five minutes. It was gross and hard to watch. He tried to wrap things up by saying "yeah... and... good luck... man..." or something like that, while his face said "you have no chance to win, enjoy the after party."
Just show the clips.
And Tom Hanks, Mr. Two Time Winner, slow down. He ran out on stage, read the nominees for "Best Picture", no pause, no clips, apparently no time left in the show, and said "the winner is" and it's over. They spend forever and a day on the actors and when it comes to "Best Picture", the award they wait until the end of the show to give out - they rush it. Tom, everyone in the audience has extra Xanax in their pocket. Take one.
The biggest disappointment of the night was the "In Memoriam" montage.
They left two people out (that we know of so far). They left out Farrah Fawcett and Bea Arthur. A former Charlie's Angel and a Golden Girl. That is embarrassing. They let Cameron Diaz hand out an award (and have a speaking line), but a movie she was in, based off a TV show made famous by Farrah Fawcett... Isn't there someone on staff still playing hybrid forms of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon?
And now there's a huge push to get Betty White, another Golden Girl, to host SNL. Wouldn't someone find the link. Don't they have people hired to do this? Isn't there a list somewhere of those in the Hollywood Family who've past on? Or would it have run too long for James Taylor's song performance?
Maybe they should have spent more time double checking that, instead of creating the "Horror Movie Tribute."
It will never be a perfect system, but they reformatted the show for a ratings boost. The complaint is that it's too long.
No one ever complains the Super Bowl is too long. Make the show more interesting. Don't cut the good parts... the real parts... to substitute in lame crap that some intern thought was a rad idea.
And next year, if you want buzz leading up to the show to gain viewers, stick to your gut and hire the host you really wanted.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Soda Pop Mafia
Coca-Cola and their team of PR monkeys are working hard to keep some secrets... secret.
They've always been ahead of the curve when it came to their marketing and advertising.
You remember Al Gore's, An Inconvenient Truth? He made the drowning polar bear famous.
Nope.
Coca-Cola used that same exact cartoon polar bear to push a beach ball with its nose and share one of their soft drinks with a young cub. Al Gore stole that idea... most likely while he was drinking... say it with me... a Coke.
American Idol's own, Paula Abdul, started off with Coke commercials. Then moved to American Idol and had to keep Coke right where everyone could see it.
And of course, there's Hollywood's favorite drug of choice, cocaine. When Coca-Cola was first made, COCAINE was an ingredient. No wonder it caught on.
Now they are being hit with charges of MURDER, RAPE, and TORTURE. Somehow I don't think the new commercial will be... Murder, Rape, and Torture... Always Coca-Cola.
This isn't the first time allegations like this have been made against them, but somehow I think they'll be alright.
Oh, and make sure my Mom gets all of my My Coke Rewards Points... they shouldn't go to waste. Then she can get the duffel bag that she always wanted.
They've always been ahead of the curve when it came to their marketing and advertising.
You remember Al Gore's, An Inconvenient Truth? He made the drowning polar bear famous.
Nope.
Coca-Cola used that same exact cartoon polar bear to push a beach ball with its nose and share one of their soft drinks with a young cub. Al Gore stole that idea... most likely while he was drinking... say it with me... a Coke.
American Idol's own, Paula Abdul, started off with Coke commercials. Then moved to American Idol and had to keep Coke right where everyone could see it.
And of course, there's Hollywood's favorite drug of choice, cocaine. When Coca-Cola was first made, COCAINE was an ingredient. No wonder it caught on.
Now they are being hit with charges of MURDER, RAPE, and TORTURE. Somehow I don't think the new commercial will be... Murder, Rape, and Torture... Always Coca-Cola.
This isn't the first time allegations like this have been made against them, but somehow I think they'll be alright.
- Paula Abdul has been drugged up and stuck carrying around their products with her ever since she did her first commercial.
- The polar bear must have tried to break ties and Coke decided to accelerate global warming to phase them out.
- Al Gore was elected President of the United States... w/o getting to be President of the United States.
- And people who use cocaine when it's not in Coca-Cola... well, they have trouble doing sexy times.
Oh, and make sure my Mom gets all of my My Coke Rewards Points... they shouldn't go to waste. Then she can get the duffel bag that she always wanted.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Mass Debate With Stormy Daniels
For those of you unfamiliar with her work, Stormy Daniels is a highly talented thespian for the adult entertainment company, Wicked Pictures. She also had a small role in the 40-Year-Old Virgin.
She's going to announce whether or not she will run against incumbent Senator David Vitter in Louisiana and if she does run, has a reasonable chance to win.
If Schwarzenegger and Palin can be governors, Stormy Daniels could be a Senator.
Somehow, unlike Vitter, she doesn't have an Elliot Spitzer-like sex scandal attached to her, unless you count her career. (He paid to have sex. She got paid to have sex. There might be a difference, somehow.)
She's running Republican in a traditionally red state, which encompasses the Mardi Gras mecca of the world and she already has name recognition. All she has to do at rallies is throw some beads, flash her junk, and wear a Drew Brees jersey and she's in.
Honestly, it couldn't get any worse in Washington and it might lighten up the Republican Party. It will make Faux News' collective head spin, but I'm sure the Republican Party will vet her much more than they did with Sarah Palin.
If Sarah Palin made men sit up more attentively and pay attention when she spoke, imagine what a tall, blonde, former professional sex worker with jugs the size of levies and a perky attitude will do to those pee-paws watching the evening news.
I do believe her audience will be growing.
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