Friday, March 19, 2010

On A Good Day

Sometimes, when I'm having a good day and everything is going my way, I'll turn on Glenn Beck just to throw a wrench in there and bring me back down to reality (or insanity, either way).

A lot of my friends ask me why the hell I'd do such a thing, but sometimes I just need to find out why all the crazies are going crazier.

Here's a video of Jon Stewart doing Beck better than Beck. It's like crazy on ecstasy.

If you're a fan of Beck let me start off by saying you are the lowest member of the intellectual food chain. If you need someone (a recovering alcoholic) to concoct wild conspiracy theories and put them in the most simplistic terms, label everything communist, socialist, progressive, and whatever else, and scream and cry on a cable news show, to tell you how you should be thinking or perceiving the world, then you've kinda fallen off the wagon. And if someone asked you why you thought those things, you couldn't really explain why, other than the fact that he said it on his show so it must be truer than true.

I mean he wrote it on a chalkboard. Teachers do that. He must be smart. Like a teacher. Wait, did Russia have teachers? Maybe. But they didn't have chalk.

He's telling America to leave their Church if their website has the words 'Social Justice' on it. I'm pretty sure JC was all about social justice like Helping the Poor or Teaching a Man To Fish (yuck, that's like charity and free education - sounds super communist). I don't think JC thought about what was in it for him - like TV ratings, bigger revenue share, or name recognition.

Isn't he basically saying JC was wrong (probably a socialist progressive Maoist) and to leave that Church and if you can't find another one to go to, I Glenn Beck, will start my own religion.

Or is this just one big conspiracy theory?

Come back next week when I'll be discussing how monkeys that pick fleas off of other monkeys are really a bunch of Hitler-loving, communists that are picking away at our constitution and trying to DESTROY AMERICA!!!


  1. Terrific! You hit the bull's eye with this one. Keep writing. You made me laugh, but we both know people like Beck are more scary than funny.

  2. That sums up Glenn Beck's persona brilliantly. Hypocrisy as a means to an end for financial gain. He scares the shit out of me...

  3. Well, I'm glad I'm not alone.

    My idea of health care is a high fiber diet and some Glenn Beck - clears the colon right out!

  4. Great talking points from the Progressive MSM...just shoot the messenger; forget the message...

  5. Might I suggest a second job so that you can see a shrink more than one a week? I'm thinking every other day would be a good start.